My High School story

u know, today i was thinking about one guy.. He is my classmate when in high school..

When i was high school i always change my best friends every year..but when i was 17 , my life changed alot..i started become friendly with classmate and teacher.. and started closed with him even though we know since we were 10 years old.. me and him very closed that time.. because he always come to my table to ask about mathematics subject.... i'm also come to his table to ask account subject.... when class finished i need to wait my mom, so ,he always company me play chess at class.. He is very best friend of mine... That time i knw he also read comic kreko and arena.. so, sometimes we share money to buy that book..(this is account student! think how to cut cost!) hmm.. also share money to buy glasses chess.. LOL.. That time i was change alot, i'm not naughty as before... never skip class. attendance full. so i'm so closed with my classmate.. before i'm never talking with my classmate. never submit homework, sometimes because of my all student in my class got punish.. huhuhu..finished class immediately i'm packing my bag and go find my friends at other class and explore new place, we are hang out, and do stupid things.. because we are problem girls that time.. not enough love from parents. hahaha.. its so funny, ..

But when i was 17,i was set my goal.. because that is the last year in high school..i want to be accountant. full stop! i want to enter college matriculation in accounting course.. and i need to have good grade to enter that college... This is my first time learn what is 'effort'.. its challenges and interesting...!. i learn what is sacrifice.. All my money i'm sacrifice , i used to buy extra reference book.. because my hobby that time collect all reference book which is exactly like my teachers hold.. because they like to change book.. hahaha.. i'm stop my self from social. just once in week.. not everyday like before.. almost everyday my face at store book to search reference and exercise book...

That time i'm so rich with book..... my friend sometimes borrow my book..

Alhamdulillah i'm graduated from high school with kepujian( first class).. my result is ok. i got 6A,2B, 1C..

well C is my english.. i knw is grammar its sucks,, look how i write in english.. totally broken language..-,-'

B is islam.. i really dont believe when i knw my islam subject is B. i always got A in trial or test.. until now i feel weird.. well, when i have child soon,, its so embarrassing to tell them i got B. -,-'.. and the other B is economy.. i'm not understand why my economy is B.. well, i have all collection of this book. how can?when i test my self i can answer all question.. when i answer question on exam i feel i can got A. not B. hmmm.. well, nevermind. as long i can enter to college matriculation..

i'm graduate first class in college matriculation

but,

when i enter UiTM, we are not contact because i'm so busy . i dont know what make me so busy that time...

After i got dismiss from uitm, i feel very down and give up.. i'm suppose died at shah alam because i did try to committed suicide but i feel its so stupid and its so pain.. when the car almost hit me, and angry me.. hmm.. stupid right? yea, when i think back its very stupid.. one day i open my chat in facebook and we are chatting.. hmm

when i tell him my life was end, i was dismiss from UiTM and i was break up with my bf...i'm not accountant... i'm loser, we are not at the same boat.. you are become accountant first.. and i will become housewifeT_T.....that time he told me he love me.... well i'm so surprised. and speechless.. i dint expect that from him and i'm not ready for any relation. further more he is my best friend.. so, i refuse... i have no space for him.. sorry..

But, When i think back, one year i live as the loser, Only him the one who always give me strength and support me.. .. i'm so weird, where is all my friends that time.. I realize, I have no friend, When i'm feeling very down i need to face it alone.. all my friends is pity to me and mostly said 'princess alone!, u you are clever, i know u can survive'.. 'sorry i cant help you' 'hmm, i dont how to say' 'erk, no comment' 'haaaa? really? hmm, clever person like you no need to worry' .. Damn! all is speechless..That time i knw i'm friend with wrong people.. and the worst feeling i ask my best friend(pis) to company me meet my chanselor but his dad not allow it. i talked to her dad and try to push her dad but her dad still not allow because he is not feeling well.. my friend is crying that time.. i'm so disappointed and end the call instantly.. she try to call me back,i'm not answer because i not feel want to talk with anyone..

when tomorrow come, i go to UiTM alone and my other best friend (jiha) call, but i dont want answer because i Thought that time she want console me or explain etc.... but when i read message, her(pis) dad is died.. i'm so speechless..!.i dont know what i'm supposed to do.... i feel guilty because last night i talked with her dad long time.. and push her dad... i still didnt reply or answer call, i let my phone ringing and i'm so angry with god that time.. after i meet so many people in UiTM, all is worst.. its my first time begging to people and crying infront them ... they cant changed anything!....

that time i want to die.. i had try two times to committed suicide.. first at road, the car is break emergency and angry me badly... and the motorcyle hit my hand, its very pain.. i leave that place without care hows people look at me, i just want to die... then, i try to jump to the lake, suddenly its Maghrib time. Why ya Allah? why? I cry alot, why god take it all? why me? there are so many people who are bad why me? God know very well everything he take from me very important and its was my dream since high school. why you take it all? whyyy.... then i went to Mosque and pray. I want miracle! i want my course back! i wantt all is just my nightmare! all its not true.. then i sleep there.. someone woke up me . its isyak Time. damn! i'm still here. after pray my phone is ringing. i want stay at mosque.. its very dark because all people back home. only me and pak guard.. i dont mind , i'm not scary, i'm suppose was died.. then my causin calll me, pak guard look at me give a signal to answer the phone. damn! i answered. my cousin pick me up from that mosque...

When i'm back home.. everyone is asking me same question..

i have no one.. my mom dont want talk to me. when she look my face she will angry me.. hmmm.. My dad non stop give me strength.. he try his best so i can further back at UiTM.. we always go to putrajaya to meet his friend.. This is my first time see my dad fight for me to make sure i can go to the UiTM back... i'm cry to my dad i want accounting course no matter what happened.. UiTM want me changed to other course, so i can enter back UiTM, but with other course.. i'm feeling so dizzy when heard that.. my dad cant do anything.. and this is my first time i'm cry in front my dad...his friend cant help because its the rule of UiTM. if i want to proceed at UiTM, i need to changed my course,, after that, his friend offer me pursuing my degree at uniKL.. i'm so sad when i need leave UiTM.. they are so many effort i did in sem 1.. all is worst... I lost everthing..!.. but i was bring 3 reward from UiTM.. chess competition and rescue competition.. chess we got second place and rescue is third place.. hmm