I'm so Sad . its God Planning

what people suppose to do when they are getting so sad?

to be emo and hurt ourself?

or committed suicide?

or  do nothing and pretend not sad..?

i feel want to hurt my self,!  why i'm so stupid?

i know nobody can answer why.. because i'm talking alone..

Today i open my facebook.. i have 3 account facebook.. 

one is my real one, one is for back up and the other one is my business facebook..

The REAL facebook is bit hurt me.. Because my reality life is there.. i hate to face reality right now...

frankly, i hate my friends.all  my old friends.....

they make me feeling down...

actually i hate them because i'm getting jealous toward them.. they are so success than me even long time a go i'm better than them.. damn!

well, I was planed, but Allah is the one who decide that.. 

sometimes i feel Allah is Bit Cruel....

i know All mistake is come from me..

i have no manner. no disciplined, not matured but pretend like matured. ha ha ha..

i know i'm stupid.. very stupid person in the world..

i'm in love with wrong person.... ha ha ha..

why love is so stupid?

why god always wrote for me for the bad things?

Why you always wrote for me to let me   meet wrong person? 

why the bad things always happend to me?

am i so bad ?. i never kill people, i never smoke, i'm never do sex, i'm never drink, i'm never stole people stuff, i'm never cheated people for my own sake!!! then why me ??  why i'm suppose cry like this! STUPID. world is stupid! that is not fair.!

ooo ya, i knw why.. its because i hurt my mom.. Right God?  But he was hurt me alot. why you give me mom like that... she is not suppose to be my mom.. i'm still feel i'm at the right side. even she is my mom. but she always make me feeling down.. you can ask her what she know about me? i'm pretty sure 100% she will said about my bad manner and all my mistake in my life... the sad thing when the girl getting older but she cant share her story  with her mom.. my life only  my dad and my friends... stupid life

Because the reality of mine i'm loser.. i have nothing..,

i was like beggar before...my mom said that. i'm beggar.. i cant demand anything.. i just accept what people give me. damn!.. 

God, only one i wish from you.. please erase all my past... please god.. i really not strong to look at my past.. . its bit hurt me... they are success and i'm starting my life here..

its so embarrassing  for me.. 

whatever is happened to me, i will never give up.. i will pretend to be happy infront people..

even god was wrote i'm loser but i wont give up....

I will fight until my last breath!!

I hate you god why you give me through  like this.. . what was you planed toward me?

i know, u will write for me all the bad in future  right? 

yes, you are.. 

  

ok. fine..i will wait and see..  and smile and pretend..

I QUIT

STUPID WORLD  with  STUPID EMPIRE, STUPID SYSTEM. ALL IS STUPID!
I HATE GOVERNMENT BECAUSE THEY ARE SO MANY SYSTEM NOT RELEVANT !  DAMN!