New Semester

Well, today is my first day for the second semester..

so much busy and so many problem regarding my subject  registration ..

well now i stay with my friends.. renting house..

freedom from family.! haha

but 

but so many expenses i did . huuu

because all i do by my own..

i can learn bit what is independent.. right?

Lately i'm so much busy to update anything.. so bye! see you next story!

pray the best for me!

New Target

I was sitting infront my lappy..

looking at my friends' update on facebook..

 looking on their success i feel bad toward myself.. yeah. i'm jealous..

because some of them studying abroad..

i feel jelous..!

if they can study there how come i cant study there..?

so now, i set my goal..

i want study abroad.. oversea..

either australia. or landon..

but i'm gladly if i could  study at my mom or my dad university at united state..

where they meet each other.. 

now its my goal..

STUDY OVERSEA! 

Silent is better than arguing

sometimes life is dificult..

people like arguing.

i decide to keep silent..

because nothing we got from arguing..

what suppose i do is 

silent,

accept and solve

bye

Tired Tired and Tired

i just feel so busy and tired.. k bye

Ego can kill the talent

Hmmm..

yesterday i was so sad.. but now i feel nothing..

i just thankful to Allah..

because who am I today..

even i have pimple ..

T_T..

Today i wanna share about my dream ..

weird dream again! hihi

my dad move me to new school..

STPM.. its like A level..

like usual i meet new friend there..

but in that dream i'm arrogant.. 

i dont like friend with them.. huuu

then, suddenly my best friend from matric, mimi is come and meet me in class... she didnt enter to my class but give me signal  from outside my class  to get out now  ..

so,  i silently  run away from that class through  back door. so my teacher didnt noticed it ...

i'm asking her 'whats matter? why did u come here?'.. she said with sad face ' my dad want me stop from study .. but i was made a loan. its 30 thousand ringgit.. what i'm suppose to do?'.. i was shocked heard that  then ask her ' why you dad want you stop?' spontaneously she answer me 'because i'm not study well. :('..

so, i bring her to one place so we could chat more.. she said she was in love with someone and that person fool her.. after we are talked alot, then my ex roommates is come ..

she treat us some lunch.. and listening her story study abroad..

suddenly we have 4 people. the other one is my current best friend in uniKL..

what the weird dream.. -,-'

at the last i'm fever.. and go to the private clinic.. 

what make me shocked is the bill is 1 thousand more ringgit....

only fever and the bill is RM1000? come on..

i just pay it using my credit card.. even in real i dont have credit card.. all is debit card.. 

then i wake up from sleep.. 

look at the clock, its 4.30pm.. damn! zohor time!..

i rushing go to the toilet and take wuduk..

after i pray i was think about my dream..

why they are appear in my dream?  because we are never contact.. even we are friend  on facebook.... 

'Ego can kill the talent'

without i'm noticed i'm was killed my talent..

i'm  so Ego..

that why i always lost someone that i love..

my friends... i cant blame them because they are never hurt me etc.. 

same with my family, i never greeting them as well ..

i'm never appreciate people around me 

I need to blame my self because i'm so Ego..

and its was kill my talent.. that why UiTM dismiss me from there..

That why my scholarship was taken back..

its my Ego..

i'm so Ego with Allah,

i'm so Ego with my family,

i'm so Ego with my friends,

I'm so Ego with my boyfriend

i'm so ego with everyone.. in the end they are leave me alone... 

i need to start it back..  star  from ABC ..new life, new friend, new place, but my family is still same. hmm

no matter what happend, who we are, what was the mistake we did, family never leave you for a long.. they are ready to accpt, and  to forgive.. that is the power of family

I always Think about Study, my future. because i wanna become like my idola..

bill gate, albert einstain, Leonardo  da vinci., Garry kasparov, .Ibnu khaldun, Ibnu sina, Al khawarizmi ,  they are so clever.. even some of them  are jewish but i'm so impress toward them. they create something new..

I'm also impress about Nabi Muhammad, Nabi Ibrahim, Nabi sulamain, Rabi'atul adawiyyah, Hasan Al-bashri.. because i like to read their story so i could be like them one day..InsyaAllah.. I want my last moment   of my life  i could be like Rabi atul adawiyyah.. That why my dad give me that name. he want me become like her.. Ameen.. 

Principe of my life is my pride first, then second one is opportunity in future, third one is my safety, and the last one is saving and cut cost ;) 

But for Love  is other story.. hehe

because i knw my self.. if i truly love that person, my Principe is second one.. hehe

but i still put my dad pride as the first whenever i'm in love or etc.. 

So lucky my dad has daughter like me. hmm..

because i will never betray him!

i cant wait my turn to marry.. all my daughter will be like me..

i want become the best mother of them!..yeay!

people said when the girl in love , their IQ will decrease .. its me.. ! :D

I'm Ugly

(Emotion entry)

Yesterday my best friend want me join Hijab style competition.. 

i'm hijab lover..  she knew it..that why she want me join that competition.. i  feel confident to join this competition  yesterday.. i told her i will join ..

and now, the worst feeling when i look my self in mirror.. there are so many new pimple. i dont knw where its come from!!!  but its look ugly

i feel like i'm the ugly girl  in this world right now!.. its so disgusting.

i told my friend that i will join yesterday and now i dont want to join that!

after i look mirror, i kick my furniture and now my feet is pain.. then i'm landing on my bed to sleep and  i suddenly i feel my throat its pain and i feel hurt.. my tears is come out even i try stop it.... 

what are stupid life....

my first Ramadhan is very sad..

and  i writing my diary with tears ..

why god didnt allow me join that competition? 

why....?

why my pimple added drastically on my face... 

my sem break just leave 7 days..

i really dont want face anyone with this face..

i'm ugly..

i cant join that competition....

i want throw away all my hijab! !!! aaaaaaaaaa

i want to run away from my world..

ohh god, why i feel so sad like this. i cant sleep.......

my pimple like her.. but, my mine is new and  big. i feel itching ..

Dizzy day @_@.. first Ramadhan (sahur)

Now is sahur time.. 

something make me feel dizzy is about dress

T_T

when i saw this dress before i'm in love .. so i decide want to buy this when i have money.. 

i found this dress in online shop

so i think i will buy this dress when my class  is start 30 july.. so i wait. just 9 day..

because my dad will give me money that time..hmm

when i stay at home my dad not give me money because when i have money i will back home late.. T_T (i'm so regretted) 

and my business now is down right now  T_T sobsobsob

When i open my facebook  this dress was sold out!!!! OMG

i feel so dizzy right now! no matter what happend  i want this dress!

i hate my dad right now..huhuhuhuhu

now this dress only in my dream..

my dad said,  when we lost something, there will something come and replace it.. i hope so... i hope i will meet beautiful dress soon T_T

My wish For This Ramadhan

Hello guys..

Tomorrow we are start fasting.. and now is Ramadhan..

i'm so glad because my ramadhan day with my parents..

my class will start 30 july :(.. haiyooo. wo shi toa la

But. for eid mubarak my mom and dad celebrate at Arab Saudi. well, its bit make me sad.. 

celebrate eid Mubarak without my parents this year. its my first time..:(

i wish i could go there with them... but i have class. :(( 

i'm so jealous  with my parents because  they go there 2 times in year. and me? never go there..  :(..

waiting my turn go there..hmm

InsyaAllah i will go there.. ameen.. :)

pray for me !

I;m Become actress

I have a trip with my family..

we stay at one hotel..

Like usual my family angry on me.. i forget why.. 

suddenly i have my partner. its a boy, my senior  from my university..

 i dont like him in real, i dont like his mouth maybe because i dont know him..

and he like talk nonsense that why i have bad perception toward him

we have are shooting at swimming pool  hotel... and do acting for film.. my best friend is come from her college to join us.. well, she said my university sponsor her.... i like her dress so i was find her to take her picture with that dress.. but she is missing somewhere..

and my senior stop me to continue shooting

We always shooting together and spend time together.. 

and talk about camera much.. well, i have my own DSLR.. its canon.. wowowow..

Day by day i spend my time with him and my DSLR..

camera and camera.. 

when i wake up.. damn! its a dream.. 

i dont have DSLR.. :(

i take my phone beside me.. SHIT! its 12.pm. i need go to my university!

Then i ask my self, why i wake up late? 

aaaaaaaaa

i find my cat.. ohh, i forget my mom didnt allow cat at my home.. my cat name is sally.... WHATEVER! i let my cat stay out at my home.... sometimes i bring sally stay at my room.. my room is my zone!

bye bye

I'm so Sad . its God Planning

what people suppose to do when they are getting so sad?

to be emo and hurt ourself?

or committed suicide?

or  do nothing and pretend not sad..?

i feel want to hurt my self,!  why i'm so stupid?

i know nobody can answer why.. because i'm talking alone..

Today i open my facebook.. i have 3 account facebook.. 

one is my real one, one is for back up and the other one is my business facebook..

The REAL facebook is bit hurt me.. Because my reality life is there.. i hate to face reality right now...

frankly, i hate my friends.all  my old friends.....

they make me feeling down...

actually i hate them because i'm getting jealous toward them.. they are so success than me even long time a go i'm better than them.. damn!

well, I was planed, but Allah is the one who decide that.. 

sometimes i feel Allah is Bit Cruel....

i know All mistake is come from me..

i have no manner. no disciplined, not matured but pretend like matured. ha ha ha..

i know i'm stupid.. very stupid person in the world..

i'm in love with wrong person.... ha ha ha..

why love is so stupid?

why god always wrote for me for the bad things?

Why you always wrote for me to let me   meet wrong person? 

why the bad things always happend to me?

am i so bad ?. i never kill people, i never smoke, i'm never do sex, i'm never drink, i'm never stole people stuff, i'm never cheated people for my own sake!!! then why me ??  why i'm suppose cry like this! STUPID. world is stupid! that is not fair.!

ooo ya, i knw why.. its because i hurt my mom.. Right God?  But he was hurt me alot. why you give me mom like that... she is not suppose to be my mom.. i'm still feel i'm at the right side. even she is my mom. but she always make me feeling down.. you can ask her what she know about me? i'm pretty sure 100% she will said about my bad manner and all my mistake in my life... the sad thing when the girl getting older but she cant share her story  with her mom.. my life only  my dad and my friends... stupid life

Because the reality of mine i'm loser.. i have nothing..,

i was like beggar before...my mom said that. i'm beggar.. i cant demand anything.. i just accept what people give me. damn!.. 

God, only one i wish from you.. please erase all my past... please god.. i really not strong to look at my past.. . its bit hurt me... they are success and i'm starting my life here..

its so embarrassing  for me.. 

whatever is happened to me, i will never give up.. i will pretend to be happy infront people..

even god was wrote i'm loser but i wont give up....

I will fight until my last breath!!

I hate you god why you give me through  like this.. . what was you planed toward me?

i know, u will write for me all the bad in future  right? 

yes, you are.. 

  

ok. fine..i will wait and see..  and smile and pretend..

I QUIT

STUPID WORLD  with  STUPID EMPIRE, STUPID SYSTEM. ALL IS STUPID!
I HATE GOVERNMENT BECAUSE THEY ARE SO MANY SYSTEM NOT RELEVANT !  DAMN!

welcome to my life

i just wanna tell you i have new cat.. name is sally.. well, sally is bit naughty and so active. so i cant take her picture properly.. hahahaha. ok guys.. i will introduce to you my cat for my next entry! bye bye

Trust Me, I'm an "Engineer"

hai guys..

''hai' its just greeting' even know i knw i'm talk alone here..hehe

Today i feel bit Happy after look at page

Trust Me, I'm an "Engineer"

This is is fun!they are talked about their life, hows theirs solved probelm, and they proud to be engineer..etc.. i wonder who is the owner of that page!!

sometimes their post have some common with my life.. and this page have 1.7 million fan. Wow.. awesome..

Like i told you before, engineer is a bit naughty, and cannot judge them by its cover.. i'm so impressed to them when they are solved probelm.. well, READ THIS hows engineer solved problem.. if we are look to the an engineer for the first perception they would be 'messy boy'.. euuuu, not my taste! but when u look how they solved the probelm 'OMG, i'm in love' hehehe.. yea, its true...!

Now i'm we enjoy this picture from  Trust Me, I'm an "Engineer"... ;)..

This is always happend to me.. but i'm not clubbing, i like spend my time in shopping before exam. ngegege.. $_$!in the night before exam i will study  very hard, suddenly i feel like genius i can understand all of that even before i never want to know that. haha. when  during the exam, damn! i think i knw to answer but i dont know how to explain because i feel so tired.. 

 how many I explain this, do the muliplication and division before add and sub!!

yea.. sometimes i'm not agree, but i need to protect myself. hihi

This is damn true!.. see what happened when i was in UiTM? many people say its luck... i got good grade in college after that i got dismiss when in university. hmm :(

its happened to me when i was doing presentation in class and  when All people look to me.. i feel like loser..well, i  lost my confident when i was got dismiss in UiTM.. :(

guess what? i always mention this quotes.. this is my Favorite quotes.. because i always do mistake.. 

Lolz. i'm suppose to be engineer.. BUT,Accountant is FUN!!!!

LOLz.. this is me and my friends.. either me got push or i push her to enter class if we are late. ngegege

hahhahaha :P

amazing.. !

hahahaha. i'm laughing when read this.. because when I come to someone house i will ask for the wifi pasword..haha. so stupid!

LOLz,, i wanna try this ;)

 

LoLz, this is bit interested.. first time when i see this i'm so confuse.. 

firstly i read as, imaginary  two cube sum 3.173 and it was so delicious.. errrkk..

something wrong!

i try again..

-ve one surd two cube sum pie  and it was so delicious.. LOLz..

i try again ..

-ve one square roots two cube sum pie and it was so delicious.. LOLz, not logic

fine i'm give up.. dont want waste my time here... i Look for the answer in comment box.. well,

it is 'i eight sum pie and it was so delicious..' LOLz

that pronouciation like I eat some pie  and it was so delicious!

 

its tetris. my favourite game!

so many picture i want to share but now i bit sleepy.. bye!

nothing to say

Hello guys!

i think its been 2 day i'm not write anything here.. well, i'm so busy playing sim social game.. -,-'

well, like usual life of forever alone is  awesome!

no love no pain..

since 2 day my phone missing somewhere. my batry phone was empty then i dont know where is my phone location.. am ignore. because i knw nobody will call me,.. if people call me, hmm i knw its a problm. my mom,my dad, my friends. thats all..

i have no mood actually.. hmm, i'm feeling so sad .. oke bye!

Fight with someone

today and yesterday i receive msg from him.. and he leave me many miss call.... 

actually i forgot i have BF.. because i was set to my mind i'm FOREVER ALONE' so like usual, i will leave my phone far away from me because i knw  nobody will call me.. FOREVER ALONE so like usual, when i go out with family, my phone at home.. when i open my lappy i only look my facebook and blog.. my shop blog is under maintenance so i'm concentrate to my blog and business..actually girl like me not suitable have BF.. nobody can stay with me.. ..     and now he is misunderstand with me.. what i can do???

... and i dont know what going on with me..

I'm also not understand with my self....

i like him, and he is good for me.. But, there are something stop me... 

i cant proceed with him.. i dont mean to hurt anyone but my mind is changed.. 

2 weeks soon is ramadhan.. This is my opportunity to get something in this ramadhan.. and i dont want anything stop me.... If i have BF its will disturb my target for this Ramadhan...

Ya Allah. please help me made right decision..!

if he is not made for me , please make him changed his mind toward me..
just knw, i'm google about 'kawin dengan tentera'' oh god, its not like in my dream their story. OMG!

i think life as forever alone more fun than in relationship.. seriously. just in relationship someone is care about you, and forever alone nobody care  T_T...

......

But, i think i'm not suitable to be someone girlfriend.. why?
i'm so selfish, When i have BF i want him to understand me, and say love me everyday..., and i'm not romantic..

but if my husband is different.. and he is special one... i will do everything for him.. i can be romantic. euuuu.. sorry, i'm over again. hihihihi

My High School story

u know, today i was thinking about one guy.. He is my classmate when in high school..

When i was high school i always change my best friends every year..but when i was 17 , my life changed alot..i started become friendly with classmate and teacher.. and started closed with him even though we know since we were 10 years old.. me and him very closed that time.. because he always come to my table to ask about mathematics subject.... i'm also come to his table to ask account subject.... when class finished i need to wait my mom, so ,he always company me play chess at class.. He is very best friend of mine... That time i knw he also read comic kreko and arena.. so, sometimes we share money to buy that book..(this is account student! think how to cut cost!) hmm.. also share money to buy glasses chess.. LOL.. That time i was change alot, i'm not naughty as before... never skip class. attendance full. so i'm so closed with my classmate.. before i'm never talking with my classmate. never submit homework, sometimes because of my all student in my class got punish.. huhuhu..finished class immediately i'm packing my bag and go find my friends at other class and explore new place, we are hang out, and do stupid things.. because we are problem girls that time.. not enough love from parents. hahaha.. its so funny, ..

But when i was 17,i was set my goal.. because that is the last year in high school..i want to be accountant. full stop! i want to enter college matriculation in accounting course.. and i need to have good grade to enter that college... This is my first time learn what is 'effort'.. its challenges and interesting...!. i learn what is sacrifice.. All my money i'm sacrifice , i used to buy extra reference book.. because my hobby that time collect all reference book which is exactly like my teachers hold.. because they like to change book.. hahaha.. i'm stop my self from social. just once in week.. not everyday like before.. almost everyday my face at store book to search reference and exercise book...

That time i'm so rich with book..... my friend sometimes borrow my book..

Alhamdulillah i'm graduated from high school with kepujian( first class).. my result is ok. i got 6A,2B, 1C..

well C is my english.. i knw is grammar its sucks,, look how i write in english.. totally broken language..-,-'

B is islam.. i really dont believe when i knw my islam subject is B. i always got A in trial or test.. until now i feel weird.. well, when i have child soon,, its so embarrassing to tell them i got B. -,-'.. and the other B is economy.. i'm not understand why my economy is B.. well, i have all collection of this book. how can?when i test my self i can answer all question.. when i answer question on exam i feel i can got A. not B. hmmm.. well, nevermind. as long i can enter to college matriculation..

i'm graduate first class in college matriculation

but,

when i enter UiTM, we are not contact because i'm so busy . i dont know what make me so busy that time...

After i got dismiss from uitm, i feel very down and give up.. i'm suppose died at shah alam because i did try to committed suicide but i feel its so stupid and its so pain.. when the car almost hit me, and angry me.. hmm.. stupid right? yea, when i think back its very stupid.. one day i open my chat in facebook and we are chatting.. hmm

when i tell him my life was end, i was dismiss from UiTM and i was break up with my bf...i'm not accountant... i'm loser, we are not at the same boat.. you are become accountant first.. and i will become housewifeT_T.....that time he told me he love me.... well i'm so surprised. and speechless.. i dint expect that from him and i'm not ready for any relation. further more he is my best friend.. so, i refuse... i have no space for him.. sorry..

But, When i think back, one year i live as the loser, Only him the one who always give me strength and support me.. .. i'm so weird, where is all my friends that time.. I realize, I have no friend, When i'm feeling very down i need to face it alone.. all my friends is pity to me and mostly said 'princess alone!, u you are clever, i know u can survive'.. 'sorry i cant help you' 'hmm, i dont how to say' 'erk, no comment' 'haaaa? really? hmm, clever person like you no need to worry' .. Damn! all is speechless..That time i knw i'm friend with wrong people.. and the worst feeling i ask my best friend(pis) to company me meet my chanselor but his dad not allow it. i talked to her dad and try to push her dad but her dad still not allow because he is not feeling well.. my friend is crying that time.. i'm so disappointed and end the call instantly.. she try to call me back,i'm not answer because i not feel want to talk with anyone..

when tomorrow come, i go to UiTM alone and my other best friend (jiha) call, but i dont want answer because i Thought that time she want console me or explain etc.... but when i read message, her(pis) dad is died.. i'm so speechless..!.i dont know what i'm supposed to do.... i feel guilty because last night i talked with her dad long time.. and push her dad... i still didnt reply or answer call, i let my phone ringing and i'm so angry with god that time.. after i meet so many people in UiTM, all is worst.. its my first time begging to people and crying infront them ... they cant changed anything!....

that time i want to die.. i had try two times to committed suicide.. first at road, the car is break emergency and angry me badly... and the motorcyle hit my hand, its very pain.. i leave that place without care hows people look at me, i just want to die... then, i try to jump to the lake, suddenly its Maghrib time. Why ya Allah? why? I cry alot, why god take it all? why me? there are so many people who are bad why me? God know very well everything he take from me very important and its was my dream since high school. why you take it all? whyyy.... then i went to Mosque and pray. I want miracle! i want my course back! i wantt all is just my nightmare! all its not true.. then i sleep there.. someone woke up me . its isyak Time. damn! i'm still here. after pray my phone is ringing. i want stay at mosque.. its very dark because all people back home. only me and pak guard.. i dont mind , i'm not scary, i'm suppose was died.. then my causin calll me, pak guard look at me give a signal to answer the phone. damn! i answered. my cousin pick me up from that mosque...

When i'm back home.. everyone is asking me same question..

i have no one.. my mom dont want talk to me. when she look my face she will angry me.. hmmm.. My dad non stop give me strength.. he try his best so i can further back at UiTM.. we always go to putrajaya to meet his friend.. This is my first time see my dad fight for me to make sure i can go to the UiTM back... i'm cry to my dad i want accounting course no matter what happened.. UiTM want me changed to other course, so i can enter back UiTM, but with other course.. i'm feeling so dizzy when heard that.. my dad cant do anything.. and this is my first time i'm cry in front my dad...his friend cant help because its the rule of UiTM. if i want to proceed at UiTM, i need to changed my course,, after that, his friend offer me pursuing my degree at uniKL.. i'm so sad when i need leave UiTM.. they are so many effort i did in sem 1.. all is worst... I lost everthing..!.. but i was bring 3 reward from UiTM.. chess competition and rescue competition.. chess we got second place and rescue is third place.. hmm

Nifsu syabaan..

just wanna tell you guys today is Nifsu syaaban..

like usual, i woke up late, hmmm, my dad angry, hmmmm, then go to kenduri.. to celebrate nifsu syaban.. waa. Ramadhan is very closed.. i like ramadhan. I miss Ramadhan so much..

maybe some of you dont knw what is nifsu syaaban?

my dad said nifsu syaaban is we  open new book... make dua so our bad habit in the past will be changed to be good in the new book... and read yaasin with niat..., something like that.. hihihi

for the instance ( formal ), in Islam, every sin we did, malaikat(fairy/angel ) will write it n the book.. and every kindness we did also will be write on the book. if i'm not mistaken Roqib and atit.hmmm, i'm not remember it very well.. huhu.. 

aiyoo, i'm feeling so disappointment with myself!

i forgot  much about Islam story.. also history.. LOL. what happened to me??

and all best story about islam.... its been 4 years ago i learn this.. hmm

I hope one day, i will leave my world.. and go one place that no one know who am i...

and i want learn more About islam..and closed with Allah..and find someone who can guide me..   no phone, no lappy, no MP3, no friends.. no money.. NO INTERNET!

I only have Al-quran and my Iman.. And Allah is beside me..... BUT, how about my dress?? T_T..i will bring it also!.. hmmmmm.. its will happen one day.. i'm wait for that day.. that time i will leave my accountant carrier to Looking for Allah.. and i wanna become Rabi' Atul Adawiyyah the woman who are very strong.. hmmmm.. 

i wonder, hows rabi'atul adawiyyah dress look like? how she wore her hijab? which shawl? what color? hmmmm.... and hows her dress look like? hmmmm.. all of that not important... as long you are sincere to Allah, you will look very beautiful all the time... but i cant leave my dress T_T 

 its my dream since i'm at college 3 years ago.. hmmm, when this can be true??.. i love to adventure and ready for the challenges!  

i'm so busy with my day.. INTERNET, my friends, my study, my family, etc.. 

wishes prince

I wonder why its so dificult to find someone who we wish for??..

the guy i wish for

number 1 he is tall!
number 2, he is educated. means intelligent boy, as long his IQ more than me.. 
number 3, older than me at least 2 years(minimum age) 


my boy carrier

1. army

2. IT

3. engineering student

4. pak imam

Army.. 

well, when talking about army we wil imagine he is tough guy right? so i knw he is kind of people who are decipline... well, my son or daughter would be decipline   and not like me. hhuhu...
so everyday i will wait him at home while he is working hardly out there and save country.. uuuuuu,, i'm so lucky if i'm married with army like police, airforce, navy, etc... hahahah oppps! i'm over again..
hihihi

IT student..
well, this is my type because i also interested with IT.. so i have chemistry with this type of guy.. when i'm married with this type, my son and daughter will be  genius or hacker.. erk.. and nerdy (-,-'')



Engineering student..
mostly engineering student is boy. hmmm.. naughty boy..
Fist time when i enter to college, i dont like ths type of guy.. euuuu, when i see this guy i feel disgusting because there are so naughty.. i hate them.. furthermore when my college  mix club softball  with engineering  student.. shit, and i was hit by small ball and injured.. and the guy who was throw that ball not feel sorry..i hate him.. luckily i forget his face now. but i remember his hair. like criminal!... One day, we have are task during our lesson in softball club...all student in this club  is in category unlucky because this is the last choice during to late to catch up opportunity.. we dont have any basic, never heard this sport. and now we are softball club.. huhuhu. our task is, he want us to draw line for the softball coach in A2 paper, and engineering student  sketch like rubbish, and my trainer throw it away and want them do it again.. they like changed my trainer mood to angry mood.. euuu.. and accounting student do it well and creative just we have measure problem.. at least we show some effort compare to the engineering student sketched using pen. huh!   we go back and do it again.. u know? because of engineering student, we are not study because we are spend time in class to listening about disciplined. and he is angry on us all the time.. ..  and i'm not understand to engineering student, they are like to make problem.. they are worst our day. lazy! lazy and lazy! after that engineering student completed perfectly their sketched, our couch bring us to the field. now he want us to draw it   at  field, that time so hot, and account student look to engineering student, and they are look at us... and laughing.. 'how to draw?? what it is, euu, what it is? what it is?' hahahaha''  holding the strangers material  to sketch.. i dont know how to explain.. after the few hours. we took some picture, chatting, talking on phone, laughing,, .. suddenly our couch is coming.. we are pretend like to discuss how to draw.. shit, he is yelling at us and angry, this time he is so disappointing..  'why you all is stupid??' next year all of u will pursuing degree' why you bla bla bla bla bla why less educated etc' .. .. we are look like innocent child and turn our face down,, and make face very regret.. well.. we dont know anything.. he suppose to understand we dont have any basic of that sport.. even name its our first time heard that..  and he is very angry that time. his face is red.. and leave us with that strange material .. if we are not completed, he is not allow us to back hostel... and tomorrow evening he want us to go field  with hot temperature.. we are gonna die.. after that, all engineering student is show their talent.. they are try and error that strange material to make it working.. and account student looking very stupid that time.. only can show their corporate behavior and talking alone and order engineering student like a big boss.... That time, i'm so impressed to them, even they are look like stupid boy, and naughty but they brain is working that time.. ,  even so hot that time, but they are still teamwork and laughing .. we have fun that time... its my first time smile with them when the field is completed drawing with them.. They can solve every time we have probelm regarding that strange material   ..they try to solve it..... we call our couch and said we were completed! he is come to field and look, and smile.. miracle.. haaha,, we are so happy and back to the hostel . LOL ooo ya..   that time i have engineering boyfriend.. after that incident i'm so appreciated him and try to understand him. because before, we used to fight and and i'm never thiink abt him... hmm even sometimes he is naughty i just can smile.. i knw he is genius but sometimes is brain not working properly..  ..  but there are some problem that both of us cant be together. hmmm... i was with him 2 years..  -end story-

pak imam..
well, if i married this guy, heaven is wait for me... and my offspring is very good genetic.. and bring me to Allah.. but i just want pak Imam IQ more than me..



well, i dont like guy who same field with me.. because my world will very small.. i will surely if i have son and daughter, all is accountant. damn! my house all is number.. and mostly talking about account..OMG, i cant imagine~~ hows boring my life will be
ok. only that my type.. because people only can plan, And Allah is decide that. huh!

UiTM is haunting me

today the weather quit good.. my mood is very good..
go to hell pimple... i dont mind u MR.PimPle.. well, nevermind i'm ugly with pimple, because one day my pimple will go away. so i will look pretty back one day.. hmmm..
so now, i dont want any boyfriend right now, and i dont want think about boy... because if i have BF now, my BF will be like me.. also have pimple. huhuhu..

         nevermind... my grandmother and grandfather with my untie come home. hehe. my home bit messy. sorry, mom and dad, i'm lazy girl..
like usual, my auntie and grandmother advice be..' girl cannot be lazy, after married u will have problem with your husband bla bla bla'.. hmmm.. 'ok. i will be good girl'. hehehe.. then i wash dishes ni kitchen . when the bowl is falling down, its make sound.. suddenly my dream flash back..
Damn! again UiTM is hunting me.. huhu.. how can i want forget about UiTM if i always dream about UiTM?? how? how?

my dream story like this.. hmmm..

when 7.00 am i wake up from sleep because my mom want to borrow my calculator. then after that, my dad ask me to clean the kitchen ... hmmm, i feel hungry so i got to eat 'roti canai telur' for the breakfast first.. after that i feel lazy because i'm not enough sleep. so i open my lappy and find one piano song to motivate me in the morning day .. when i listening piano love story by beethoven i fall asleep..But,  i dont want to sleep because i'm not done yet  my task to clean the kitchen.. i force my self to open my eyes, But when i wake up, i'm at another place.. somewhere that stranger to me.. where i am? i wanna go back home and clean my kitchen,! but  i see a kitchen, but looking different compare to  my kithchen.. hmmm .. i just clean it, but when the bowl is fallen down its make a sound so someone is wake up and yelling at me 'hey! silent please'.. i'm surprise because that voice is very familiar. so i come to her, haaaaa? shazlin? what are you doing here? i'm asking to her, but she is make weird face and asking me 'why you are here'? i said  ' i dont know, when i wake up from sleep suddenly i'm here' my face i wonder too why i'm here.. the other friends is wake up too.. wow, its mastura and mira and dila.. someone that i miss..everyone look at me..and i say something to greeting them 'wow, u guys is roomate now, haha, hows study going on?'  mastura is come to   me  and hug me 'yeay! ruby is here!, ruby is here, !we miss you so much'.. i'm speechless.. then say 'yah, thanks girls, i miss u too'.. i'm force my self to to smile.. then mastura and shazlin is keep asking me, why i dont text them? why i dont want to meet them, why? what happnd to me next? why ? bla bla bla.. after asking me too much question , they are show me my picture in frame  in their wall room..wow.  seem  like they are love me... its .. my innocent picture  when i was in UiTM.. hmm.. and its my shawl, my polka dot shawl.... 'Why my shawl is here?' i'm looking at them and take my shawl..  'u forget? u leave it at Mira room before you leave UiTM'. well, i didnt remember i leave it there ,  because when i was leave UiTM for the last time i leave my umbrella.. not shawl. hmm, 'owh, really' ..  shazlin is start serious conversation 'actually what happened? are you ok? '  hmmm, this is very awkward question ' well , its just happened.. its fate.. there are something in uniKL that i should have and i cant meet in UiTM.. Look at me! i'm ok.. i'm fine at all..hahahahaha. i'm still love shopping :))'.. mastura is looking at my eyes'Really?' and  mira is hold my shoulder'well, if you need us just contact us, we always with you' ... i'm speechless... i feel want to cry.. no! no! no!. cry is for the weak person... i'm strong.. i smile to them 'hahahaha, i'm ok.. see? how can people sad can laughing and healthy like this.. look at me.  hahaha'. i hold mira hand   and move her hand from my shoulder and say to her 'dont worry, you guys is the first person i will think of when i feel sad ^_^' then after that i wanna go back home.. wow. i just know actually i'm at shah alam, in hostel.. how can i want back home.. suddenly A boy come to this room, i'm so surprise how can a boy can enter here.. 'hey! yo.....' shazlin is closed my mouth with her hand and give me language body to silent.. well that guys is her BF.LOLz.. 'what going on? you allow this boy come to this room? come on this is hostel.. not your home!'..  i know i'm not very good to advice her but she is too much.. hostel regulation a boy cannot enter.. if fellow know this she willl got dismiss.. 'ruby, i knw that. but we have something to discuss, please understand '.. 'LOLz, do whatever you want..bye' i leave them., i'm not student there.. why i should care about that?
after that my little sister is yelling at me and shake my bed ' atol! atol! grandmother and grandfather is coming!  home is messy, kitchen is messy..! wake up! wake up!' Shit! its dream. what the hell!.. kitchen is messy, i'm dying! i'm dying! 'shit! where are them  right now?'.. i'm feeling so dizzy and got shocked.. my sister said 'they are cleaning the kitchen right now'  i'm sitting on my bed and think how to solve this. damn!.'oh gosh! where is dad?'  'he is still sleeping!, kak atol, grandmother is calling you! go downstair right now' ....shit, i'm not take shower.. 'kkkk i'm coming.. you go first'  ii go to wash my face and go to downstairs.... everyone is look at me.. my auntie is angry and ask me 'what time now?' i answer with guilty feeling 'well its noon, sorry for late wake up.. ' bla bla bla. lazy-husband-probelm etc bla bla blablablablalabla