sucks!

Forever Alone life..

today everything is going suck..

when i look the mirror, damn its pimple is making messy my face.. fuck off mirror

When i look my lappy, Damn! i'm tired of drama in facebook! 

when i look my blog, damn u hacker. go to hell

when i go to down stairs . damn no food,!

When i meet my dad.. hmmmm, he is asked why i wake up late.. and why i looking sad?..

i just silent and said i'm hungry.. then i go to my room..

well, only my dad is understand me but he is man.. not everything i can share with him..

actually i;m so sad.. pimple is come to my face again.. and i'm scary look mirror.. my face is messy with pimle. look so dirty monster.. 

When i meet my mom to say i'm sad, Damn! she is angry to me..  

my mom didnt noticed that i'm growing up...

When she is angry me i feel nothing.. i just feel  like listening music i dont like and turn it off whenevr i want.... 

i feel awkward to share story with her because she only know  how to angry me..

when is give me advice i refuse all because not relevant on me..  

well, she always make short decision about me as long not burden her.. without thinking  my feeling and my life .. she is dont want understand my situation.. she only know angry, angry,. and angry. .. well, when she is angry me for something i just ignore because i always right.. 

well, i'm so jealous with my friends' mom. when i ask them which one you closed most mom or dad.. mostly answer their mom...they are always talking on phone with their mom. and me?? forever alone. hmmm..

 well, in this age i'm still not closed with my mom.. when i meet her at home she will order me to do something  i dont like.. when i try to run away she will angry me like hell...  

and she always misunderstand me..

i'm her daughter . she suppose to understand me even for are while..  how could i do such a bad things.. ?  but she is never think for me.. i hate her... 

i'm never have a  good convince with her.. we always fight because i'm totally cant accept  her thought and opinion.. all is oppose me and i think not relevant at all,,. we are so different.all the time.. 

a long time a go, yea, i'm so innocent....  i love her so much.. but she always misunderstand me.. when she is angry me i will cry alone in my room and sleep with my tears everyday....i dont have anyone to share my feeling that time. i refuse to hang out with my friends because my dad not allow.. .... i need to take care my little sister and brother, i have big responsible as the teenager that time.. i' sacrifice my teenager time and spend all my time at home to take care my little sibling..... i'm never have fun..  and she always angry me. and accuse me did  bad things....  i'm so hurt that time.. so i just can describe my feeling on my drawing..and always bought comic to have fantasy to get self fun.. u know what is self fun? enjoy by yourself reading  stupid comic that give you fantasy dream..... because that time i'm believe prince  will come and save me from there..  because i'm so kind.. LOL. i'm so innocent that time... I always waiting my prince come.. BUT, All fairy tale is bullshit! all is liar.. no reward to the person who are kind.... parents willl angry to u. thats all...

I  dont trust all of that!... its hurted me at all. tolerances is bullshit.  i dont trust it.... 

when i was 15, i started appose my mom.. that time, she is noticed that i'm visible in her life.. that time i was  started   to be strong.. i dont like cry for stupid things. when she is angry i just lock my door, i always back home late, hang out with my friends. starting to know boy at all... yeah, my habit totally changed. when i back home i will fight with my little brother and sister, i dont like their touch my stuff. their lovely sister was died!

i'm not good daughter  because i'm never impressed my mom..  dont want to be my mom.....

i'm totally not understand her and not interested to understand her at all.. .. k bye!